Is it possible that beating myself up after the third chocolate digestive and saying “no” to things that would have been fun but would have distracted me from my goals may well have done me more good than harm?
I now find out that there is a “Dark Side” to self control. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Kokoris and Stavrova point out the downsides of resisting temptation.
It is true that people with strong self control have better health, relationships, finances and careers and fewer problems with overeating, overspending, procrastination and unethical behaviour.
However there is a downside:
Can restrict emotional experiences.
May lead to long term regret.
Can lead to increased workload.
Can be used for ill.
Isn’t for everyone.
Can lead to long term bias.
Before being full on about “self control” perhaps we should practice some “self compassion”, learn to know and like ourselves, perhaps cut ourselves a little slack and be more realistic.
Read the full paper HERE
I’ll have another marshmallow now please.